Category: Nepali Literature

Disappointing

It was a disappointing day today
Only thing that kept me from falling apart
Was the one and only
Snickers
Left behind for due collection by you
‘Day 2′ it said to me early in the morning
(though I was starving, I ‘saved’ it
it lasted throughout the day
but couldn’t outlive the rain that wouuld fall later today
rain and hunger fell on me almost at the same time
my complains to you
got out a much needed reminder
of how i should practice more often
and i will
here’s a start)
I see how (relatively) easy you’ve made these days for me
I just couldn’t match up
In a way, I can’t wait for tomorrow and the day after and the day after
and so on …
Brilliance all across all across

Haha
Hahaha
This title is pretty misleading
And thanks to thinking about you
… I’ve already (almost) forgotten about it all
Tomorrow’s a new day
Don’t worry you say
Soothingly
….
Day 3, here I come
Can’t wait to see what’s in store for me there

overdue

these lines have started to overflow
so much so
that you can’t even turn the pages any more
look at yourself
being a cynic
and saying
you haven’t really seen this before?

that’s all right, that’s okay
there’s nothing left for you to fear
when the end, as we know it
is so very near
did you fulfill all you set out to do?
ten years, ten years
that’s all you circled
only to forget about the rest of your life
that’s left now for your soul to be bottled

are you really leaving she said
look at the dust and see if you can fathom
no one can catch it to claim it to display it and be saddened
i said
free as a free man can be
to get rid of me is to get rid of the sea
how will you tell, how will you reach
please don’t expect nature to merely blackmail you and breach

do not flee, do not give in
they will lay it down and
speak from within
one break, one time, one day
is all you plead
let the end then come
and make it bleed

no more goodbyes, no more lonely eyes
you just do your part to help stop the cries
look at what they say what He created
don’t you just love it?
after all
going home is never belated

ED-MB

i also want to carry around a transistor radio
and a straw-mat
okay any mat
also some food – all packed up
and a book or two
will also need some water
(and hopefully a couple of cans of chilled beer)
and walk across grass so green
and sky so blue
that it’d make romantic fiction writers go all gaga
to lace the same old adjectives around them

you know
last time i went to phewa lake
the grass was green
the sky Molten Blue
(ED was no romantic fiction writer, was she?)
and there were a couple of bonuses
yes the lake
and the mountains
what say what say?

Outernet

he told me he would come today
he would he would
just to make sure that he really really would
i talked to the man above him
the man told me that he would send him
without fail he said
he would send him
yes he would send him with the ladders and all the necessary wires
so that, just like the rest of you do, i too can get connected
connected
…
connected?

yes it’s been a shameful sometime
that i have been outernetted
and i have at the house
i have the ntcs, the ncells and the wordlinks of the world
didn’t know someday i’d make an analogy
wherein i’d be comparing them to the worthless politicians
the politicians of our times
जुन गोरु आएपनि कानै चीरेको

i had wanted to wait around
to sip the tea
to be around them
to hang out with them
and to guffaw along
to once in a while pinch the other guy
after i’d made a joke
yes i’d wanted to be one of them
but they wouldn’t let me
they told me that i should go
and they would come along later
later they said
in a pick-up truck
that could haul ladders and all the necessary wires
a pick-up truck
the one with a yellow plate

why wait o why wait then good samaritan
the fixer
why wait
the driver i was told
the driver
the driver was not there yet
please
i should just go and wait at home

crossing the road
rejected
devastated
i hopped into the tottering blue micro
crouching inside were faces
staring and blank and non-smiling faces
what would happen if i suddenly shouted:
“NIR MANI DHAKAL MERO SASURA HOINAAAAAAAA!!!!”
(long story)
faces ready to pay their fares
faces ready to buy or sell some wares
bare they were
ready to deal ready to deal
for money .. or perhaps for some honey
भन्छु म कनी कनी

and while i wait for the man from ntc
i burn ncell’s expensive bandwidth
the man at their office fixed it for me
i ponder when i see my connection gather yonder
it’s nearing 12 .. it’s nearing 12
maybe 12 maybe 1
he had said
i better go and get ready to make some tea
to sit and drink with the guys from ntc

Interruptions

in the corner of the cafe you sit
drowned in your book <point A>
i hate to interrupt these exchanges
exchanges you have with words (words that you adore [by far an understatement])
when you’re on time
and i’m late

after making yet another mental note
to be early so as to not be a dent anymore
between you and the .. created
i come towards where you are
where you are letting yourself go wherever the stories take you

without even looking up
you smile – The Smile <point B>
a bit playful yet tranquil
the latter soon to take charge and suffuse
a smile so .. clear
that i find myself floating in its clarity
and my disregard of time
just becomes a fine print
that
one is bound to assume to accommodate
erasing anything do with any notes of any kind

in a fleeting instant that can occur actually at random
between <point A> and <point B>
the world is alit – just like Swayambhu is in the thick of the night
meanings seem to form and find their way
and evenutally stick to the undefined
wrapped around such transitions however

transitions – that seem to be occuring in an inexplicable parallel timeline
transitions – governed by nuances of present
present – a time-dynamic whose (re) discoveries of late
seem to be dwelling on connections and contradictions
contradictions – marked by clarity
connections – sealed, signed, and delivered via interruptions
mental notes, yes – all the same

are these marvelous moments
within which i find myself pausing
to enjoy
the microcosm of these interruptions

If

i can see you from where i sit
but you can’t see me
will we ever meet, if at all

i can see the planes take off from where i sit
but i’m grounded
a blip to be ignored, no if here – but for sure

i can see the mountains from where i sit
but i’m just a runt
will i scale, if at all

i can see the rain drop a cloud-load to where i belong
but i can’t feel it – well, neither can it
will i soak, if at all

i can see anarchic locomotion from where i sit
but i am still
will i move, if at all

i can see a man hating another from where i sit
but i ignore
will i object, if at all

i can see these souls searching from where i sit
but i’m one of them – pursuits asunder yet reign supreme
is fashioning any feeling in the midst for real, if at all

i can see pigeons flying free from where i sit
but i’m dependent
will i fly free, if at all

i can see that road from where i sit
but i’m not going to go
will i build my own, if at all

i can see reflections of my thoughts from where i sit
angling back to my increasingly imaginative mind in spoofed, abstract degrees
but i don’t mind
will i change, if at all

…

don’t ask me where i sit
for i’ve already mentioned it
it’s where i can see you from

and – i can see that i’m going to borrow RK’s famous’ title here
but i don’t quite care
do you, if at all.

FEELIN’

i got a feeling
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good good night

my Baygon’s empty
i got my Kachuwa-chaap
it ain’t no good
six legged freaks
got all kinds of tricks
up their sleeves

i got my money
wanna spend it on Odomosh
but it’s out
just like diesel is
in this town
slapping myself
all over the place
i know i’m not having a ball
i feel stressed out
’tis a friday night
and i want it to be a good night
and i want it to be a good night
i faackin want it to be a good good night
but
i got a feeling
(wooooo hooooo)
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good good night

i jump off this bed
coz i can’t take the bites
NO MORE
i feel the sting
body most definitely ain’t rocking
this ain’t no party for sure
easy come – bite away – easy go
for these six legged freaks
up and down
all night long
they won’t stop
they’ve shut me down
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
…
and they’ll do it again
’tis a Friday night
and i want it to be a good night
and i want it to be a good night
i faackin want it to be a good good night
but
i got a feeling
(wooooo hooooo)
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good night
that tonight’s not gonna be a good good night